Humor writing tricks: six ways to write a PUNCHING topic sentence

A topic sentence is the main idea of a paragraph. And while you might think it only applies to your dreaded world history writing assignment, you are not quite right. A well-crafted topic sentence does not only deliver the unity of your humor piece, but can be the ultimate line that turns a mere smirk into a roaring guffaw. Here are the tricks:

1. Repeat your funny book title - JUST THAT!

For instance, while many authors wait to deliver their first point with a three-page pointless epilogue, Jillion Madison, author of Damn you, autocorrect! crafted it differently, and amusingly.

"Damn you, autocorrect!". If you own a smartphone, there's a good chance you've screamed that phrase at least one.

2. DESCRIBE your main idea very specifically. I repeat, describe. Don't just write it.

While academic writing suggests you give a general controlling idea in a paragraph, in humor essays, you do the opposite. Specific description of what you are about to explain fuels humor anticipation of the reader.  Check out how The Editorial of Opinion in Nonsense News, for instance, wrote his topic sentence to describe how boring his life working in an office. Hint: Its not just general statement "Working in an office is very boring.".

Last night I had a dream that I came in to work with a fish I just caught and gutted it right there on my desk, then I realized I had fallen asleep watching Office Space.  So yeah, what else can I say about how insanely boring my life is without falling asleep at the computer. When I was young, I thought I would have an interesting life. I would be an astronaut, or an artist, or a waiter. Now here I am, twenty-eight years old, wasting what’s left of my youth by writing this article while I am supposed to be inputting last month’s numbers. Even if I had a spouse, or kids, or a hobby – which I don’t – I’d still spend eight hours of every day pretending to be busy so I can eat food and buy drugs. So what good is my life? I guess all I can hope for now is to be a cautionary tale for our impressionable youth.

3. Make a comparison with your idea's opposite

A lil' game of mystery gives a lil' game of surprise. And surprise is what humor is all about. Sally Bjornsen, author of the book The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids and His Ex-Wife, does it just right in a paragraph informing how stepmothers are so not celebrated.

"What to expect when you are expecting" is the bible for soon-to-be biological moms (aka bio-moms). Over the years I have purchased at least four copies of this highly acclaimed book of advice for inexperienced friends and relatives who have found themselves in the mothering way. When I gleefully announced that I was in the "stepmothering way," there was no de facto stepmothering guide for me. Instead of a manual of advice on how to raise someone else's children, my friends gave me a bottle of wine and a diary and toasted me with something akin to "Glad it's you and not me".

4. Surprise! - your exaggerated expression can be just the right topic sentence

You have an expression over an idea, whether its an awe or disgust. And Julie Edelman, who wrote The Accidental Housewife, demonstrated how your very verbal expression makes just the right main idea of a paragraph.

It seems like OH-MY-GOD-liness would probably be a more accurate statement. After all, cleaning brings us into a world filled with ungodly and varying amounts of dust, dirt, and doo-doo. Surely not the world we dreamed of when we dreamed of when we imagined life as an adult.

5. Be Sarcastic with the truth

This common 'simple truth' technique in comedy writing is just what you can apply when writing a topic sentence. Again, I quote Julie Edelman.

The other meaning of smart relates to tools that are actually called "smart" or "intelligent". These are robotic helpers that require you to push a button or how to use them. Then you can sit back, watch the tool work for you, or take a snooze. 

6.  Write it at the end - often

In humor writing, the punchline is delivered last. Crafting a funny paragraph is no different. See this excerpt from Cynthia Copeland's Diaper Diaries.

And, even more important, you may need a reminder that laughter lightens the load. Despite the exhaustion, frustration, and sheer terror that accompany new parenthood, there are funny moments to be cherished and shared. If you can laugh today when your son pees on your just-dry-cleaned suit as you change his diaper, then you will be able to laugh three years from now when the same son pees in his pants during the Little Brick preschool's performance of "The Farmer in the Dell. Humor is habit.

So there we have, the six ways of writing punching topic sentences. Or maybe there are actually seven or eleven ways. You have other ideas? 

Humor writing tricks: to use or not to use transition signals

"If you wish for a smooth and logical essays, don't miss the transition signals" 

A college kid is likely to get this piece of advice after failing his third term paper. He gets an "F" for a work claimed to be confusing, or worst, misleading.   For this reason, putting firstly, in addition, throughout, in between, however and to name a few, wherever appropriate is important, without a doubt. Sentences without transition signals are choppy, baffling and not to mention, maddening the reader.

However, as much as transition signals enhance academic papers, they don't do the same for humorous essays. For example, let's look at the following excerpt from the book Crazy English, written by Richard Lederer:

English is crazy. If adult commits adultery,  do infants commit infantry? If olive oil is made from olives, what do they make baby oil from? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

Now, let us "enhance" it with transition signals:

English is crazy. For example, if adult commits adultery, do infants commit infantry? Secondly, if olive oil is made from olives, what do they make baby oil from? In addition, if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

As you can see, much of the humor of Lederer's gems could have been lost in transitions traffic.

However, coherence in essays, including humor pieces, is vital. And here are your guidelines on how to use transitions to write funny.

1. Start sentences with 'And', 'But', 'Or' 'So', if you must

'Heavy' transitions such as In addition, however and nevertheless are no-no in joke writing. Instead, don't be afraid to break the grammar rules and do begin sentences with And and But, as commonly adopted by George Carlin in his book When will Jesus bring the Pork Chops:

 I first became aware of euphemisms when I was nine years old. I was in the living room with my mother and my aunt Lil when I mentioned that Lil had a mole on her face. My mother was quickly to point out that Lil didn't have a mole, she had a beauty mark. That confused me because, looking at Lil, the beauty mark didn't seem to be working. And it confused me further, because my uncle John also had a brown thing on his face, and it was clearly not a beauty mark. And so on that day, I discovered that on some people what appeared to be moles were actually beauty marks. And as it turned out, they were same people whose laugh lines looked a lot like crow's feet.

2. When listing examples, FORGET transition signals

Rather than listing your examples chronologically with first, secondly, thirdly (which spoils the fun), go ahead and shoot the list, rythmically of course. Here is an excerpt from  Diaper Diaries, written by Cynthia L. Copeland:

That's when you begin thinking about making baby number two....On the plus side, you get to use one more of your favourite names; you have another shot at passing along the elusive thick black curly-hair gene; and you'll get some extra mileage out of that ridiculously overpriced bassinet your first baby spent all of nineteen days sleeping in....

3. Repeat key words

Repeating key words helps deliver a joke to a punch, as shown by Julia Shire in her work Bridal Tiaras Make Brides Princess for a Day, Dull Pain For Rest of Life.

A bridal tiara is an all powerful thing. It is more than fancy headgear; it is a statement. A statement that screams to the world in a shrill voice, hoarse from accosting Macy's shopgirls; I am a Princess.

4.Alternatives in comparison and contrast essays

Rather than writing "the advantages of" or "the disadvantages of", which sound very boring, stick to "On the up side" or "on the down side", like the following example written by Jamie Lawrence in his work Things I learnt during, and about, my PhD:

On the downside, for every job that a PhD will help you get, there are a thousand which it will over-qualify you for. For some jobs (admittedly, probably not your ideal job), you might be better to pretend you were in prison for those years of your life.

5. Alternative to In addition

In addition belongs to the dull academic language. In humor writing, the merely three letter word, TOO, does magic with the same meaning. Again, I quote Cynthia L.Copeland's Diaper Diaries:

You will provide your first with a live-in buddy (or sparring partner, but either way, they'll keep busy). And if you time it right, you'll be able to use the size XS pea-pod Halloween outfit again, too.

So here we have the five rules you can apply to make your humor writing piece an engaging read! I will certainly update new discoveries time and again. Meanwhile be sure to arrange ideas from weakest to the strongest point - and have fun polishing your piece with transition signals.